When His Plan Hurts: Trusting God Through Motherhood and Recovery
I don’t think I’ve ever been tested the way I have since my daughter was born. Over Memorial Day weekend, we welcomed our precious baby girl into the world — Londyn Marie Deal.
Londyn is our love made real. She’s our rainbow baby and a living testimony to the power of trusting God — even when we don’t fully understand His plan
This pregnancy and delivery journey showed me just how deeply God loves me — that He would bless me and trust me with the gift of a child. I’m in awe of how much the Lord loves me, and I’m so incredibly grateful for the gift of motherhood. But I’ve also learned that His love and care for me doesn’t mean I’m exempt from physical trials. I’ve had to remind myself that no weapon formed against me shall prosper.
What began as a smooth, healthy pregnancy turned into an unexpected C-section — and shortly after being discharged, I found myself back in the hospital. I was diagnosed with postpartum preeclampsia, HELLP syndrome, and sinus bradycardia.
What’s wild is how common postpartum preeclampsia is — and that it can happen up to six weeks after delivery. I didn’t even feel like anything was wrong. I’m so thankful for my family and friends encouraging me to check my blood pressure and go to the ER. If they hadn’t spoken up, we might have missed it. Everyone kept reassuring me the swelling was normal, that it would get worse before it got better — but this was something different.
This experience is something I never want to go through again. I had to make hard decisions I didn’t want to make. I had to physically and spiritually encourage myself in the Lord. I had to trust God and the process — even when I didn’t understand it. I had never been seriously sick before, never had surgery — and suddenly, I was in a hospital bed with lab results that didn’t match how I felt inside. Emotionally, it was heavy. I was supposed to be home bonding with my newborn, getting to know her. Instead, I had to rest and prioritize my health — and let’s be honest, resting with a newborn is no easy thing.
I had to give it all to God, because this was something I couldn’t control. All I could do was have faith. Faith in His plan. Faith that He’s with me.
God allowed me to walk through something that now helps me connect with and support other women on their pregnancy journeys. I’m praying for strategy — to be Londyn’s main source of nourishment, to care for her while healing from pregnancy and surgery, and to keep my health a priority in the middle of it all.
